Christmas Merrymants

So I stumbled across my other Christmas blog on the bore that is Boxing day and thought it only too appropriate that I should clarify this year.

As I glanced over the words and felt the embedded emotions of last years release I realised that an incredible amount has changed in my life and right now is the happiest I have been in a very long time.

So far this holiday season, I've been overwhelmed with love and adoration, written an email I needed to, smiled a lot, napped a bit, calmed slightly, gotten a hair cut, felt like I belonged, had my heart ache with too much love. It's been a good last couple of days.

I have removed some very poisonous people from my life and despite a loved one still lingering in that environment I let them have very little to do with me. I have taken posession of myself and will let no one else try to spin their depraved and harmful words my way.

I have acquired a job that I never thought would come along my way. It is great fun and I work with a fantastic troop of intelligent and beautiful ladies. My previous job I tolerated for a very long time and then began hating, I was good at it but it delivered me no satifaction, it was never a career. I now am in a place where I can begin a career and start to mould my skills into what I want them to be.

Moving out of the comforts of family was a big step also but one that I definitely don't regret for a second. Even when there's no toilet paper or food and I realise bills have to be paid. I live with someone I adore and cherish. Things were hard at times, as to be expected but it's okay because in the end... she gets me. We support one another in all that we do (I am still trying in some areas) and she is incredibly special to me even when she's a fiend and leaves toothpaste in the sink.

I want to apologise to all those people that I have not been as diligent in keeping in contact with as I would like. I am sorry for not being the good friend that I could be. I've felt like I've needed to sort myself out these last few months, being in a new living space and head space. I am losing some good friends to that friend stealing monster - the travel bug. They will be missed greatly and I will think of them as they do things only I am dreaming of at this point. I hope they are safe and keep their wits about them. Always remember deodorant, the camera and to stop and enjoy those little things you don't see often - then I know you'll be just fine.


In my last blog I wrote I know that next year will be better. And it has. My faith has been restored within myself - I know I can do better. I have someone who isn't afraid to tell me he loves me, it's vulnerability at its most beautiful. He makes me extremely happy despite his antagonistic hobbies. He cares for me undeterred by my OCD/phobic nature and for that I adore him.

I am naturally one who pokes holes in my life and thinks that things could be better in this area, or for this reason but I must learn to be more content with what I have. I couldn't ask for better friends or family. I am healthy, loved and cared about. What more could we all ask for really??

Growing up is confronting but it's okay if you've got some alright buddies, a glass of riesling, a house named shoeberry and a boyfriend who loves to jiggle your tush (despite your rampant protests).

my heart goes bing because of them.